I want to continue talking about how secrets destroy your health.
One of my favorite scriptures is found in Revelations 12:3:
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
When I teach at Be in Health, I often share my testimony of how I overcame over twenty years of abuse. When I came here, I was a mess emotionally and physically. but God met me and healing, deep healing, began. My heart’s desire is that my testimony helps others walk out of bondage.
Often people comment on my transparency. Listen, I was programmed for secrecy. I was abused as a child and told, “You can’t tell anyone. This is OUR secret, because it would kill your mother if your mother found out. Abuse continued because of secrecy.
At 19 I became pregnant. I was single and living at home. A plan was hatched to keep it a secret. The father of this baby said it would kill his father who was dying of Huntington’s Disease. His brother was studying for the ministry. So in secret, I got a job transfer to New Orleans and at five months I was sent to a home for unwed mothers. My father, brother and sister had no idea what was going on. To tell anyone our secret would bring shame to our families.
I gave birth to a beautiful daughter that I was not allowed to see. I left New Orleans with a gaping hole in my heart, because I gave up this treasure for adoption, but I kept the secret.
By the grace of God over 20 years ago, I was re-connected to my daughter. She is a very special woman. I no longer keep the secret.
After doing research on what keeping secrets does to your brain, all of the confusion and depression of the past makes sense.
One source says, ” Researchers in the Netherlands recently found that young people aged 14-19 who kept private secrets had higher levels of rule-breaking behaviors and reported lower moods and more complaints of headaches. The study also found that secrecy was correlated with feelings of loneliness. To avoid the isolating and stressful burden of carrying a private secret on your shoulders, tell a trusted friend or adult.
“There’s a lot of truth to the childhood maxim, “Secrets don’t make friends.” The Netherlands study also determined that teens who reported keeping more secrets also confessed to having lower-quality relationships that young people who kept fewer or less significant secrets. While there’s no need to air your dirty laundry to all your friends in the interest of avoiding secrets, keeping important things from people who trust you can harm (and even ultimately ruin) your friendships. ”
From about age 25-32 I was hospitalized three times for depression. In my early 30s, I was pronounced manic depressive. Today we call that bi-polar. I went through that season on antidepressants.
When I came here at 55, I had been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. Today I have a sound mind.
Today I openly share how the Father met me. I share my past because I want others to experience the freedom I have. I do my best to bring everything to the Light. I don’t keep secrets. I don’t care if you judge me because I don’t answer to you, I answer to Him.
With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation. Psalm 91:6
And thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried in a good old age. Genesis 15:15
As I develop my relationship with the Father, not in secret, but openly, I believe I will live to a good old age.