Happy Wife, Happy Life

Happy Wife, Happy Life. That saying has become so twisted as if a person’s happiness is dependent on others. Happiness is a choice. It is as much Mama’s as anyone else’s.

It has been said that the woman is the thermostat of the home. When the husband walks in the home if the wife spouts off all the reasons why she is so unhappy, his face becomes like a mirror. Her angst is vividly reflected back at herself. Her attitude becomes. his reality.  Soon both husband and wife are irritated and agitated. It won’t be long before the children join in.

I am not asking anyone to go into denial. Yes, there are hard times. Yes, there are frustrations and disappointments, but we have a choice as to how we respond to these situations and yes, to the people that caused it. We can throw a temper tantrum or sulk or we can run to the Father.

Sometimes when I remind myself and others what Jesus went through, the response is, “But that was Jesus.” True. But what about Corrie Tem Boom, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Mother Teresa and I bet if you searched your memory you would recall someone who had a really difficult life, but you would never know by their attitude or even their face. They learned to “count it all joy.”

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. James 1:2-3

Another saying that riles me up is “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” That reeks of control and narcissism.

Now I have to admit in my growing up I have been VERY guilty of both sayings. When I quit making other people my source and ran to the Father, I had a paradigm shift.

I can choose how to respond.  There will be difficult times. Losing my daughter was the most difficult time I ever went through. Still I could honor her life by amping up mine with the revelation of the joy she spread even when she was going through hard times herself.

No one is perfect. We will have bad days, but when we recognize we are in the mully-grubs, we can choose to get up and get out. Reaching out to others in a life of gratitude is the best way I know to happiness. It isn’t based on “what’s in for me?” but rather how can I show the Father’s love to someone who is broken without condescension or pride.

You must first receive the Father’s love for yourself, before you give it out. Know who you are in Him. Be gentle on yourself and it will enable you to be gentle towards others.

Choose the happy life.


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