When our heart is divided, we don’t know who we really are. We don’t know which team we are playing on. Thus, we don’t know which uniform to put on. We often have two sets of friends and act accordingly. Our vocabulary and actions adapt to the crowd we are playing to.
We cant relax, because we have to be who people expect us to be and that changes according to the audience. The person we are in the workplace may shock our family while our co-workers may never see ur nurturing, loving side. It takes a lot of energy to live this life.
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:8
That instability brings unrest and discontent. It pushes into drivenness and performance. It messes with your mind.
Let’s look at Peter. Jesus, said upon this rock, I shall build my church. It was Peter that boldly claimed his love and devotion to Jesus. He literally implied, “Look, these guys aren’t as strong as I am. You can’t really count on them. You can count on me.”
There is no doubt in mind that Peter believed what he said. Yet before the day was out, when he was confronted by a servant girl, he turned to Jell-O and denied Jesus three times. You see Peter did not know his own heart.
Romans 7:15-20 explains this duplicity the best:
15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
When Peter recognized and took responsibility for his triple betrayal, he wept bitterly. He was devastated with guilt and shame.
On the day of the resurrection of Jesus, Mary is told by an angel the good news and then the angel said, “But go your way, tell his disciples and Peter that he goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see him, as he said unto you.”
Peter’s sin had separated him from being a disciple of Christ. A disciple is a follower, not a betrayer. This is what happens when we try to play for both teams.- one team on Sunday and another on Monday.
The schizo-Christian is not a disciple of Jesus. He shows up when it is convenient, but is not sold out.
Remember Peter did not know his own heart. David said in Psalm 139:
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Joining me in praying that prayer today and let us follow Him wholeheartedly.